Hello! It was a busy week and we had many challenges with spotty internet access at home, so I have not blogged as much as I thought about it. We started our home study a couple of weeks ago by meeting with the agency representative, Sharon, but his week she actually came to visit our home and interview us. This is an interesting process. There are several "hoops" to jump through as well, such as background checks, fingerprints, physicals, HR letter stating employment, put up a pool fence, buy a fire extinguisher, install another smoke alarm, 5 reference letters, 6+ hours of online courses, etc. Although it sounds like a lot at first, I was thinking to myself, "if everyone who has a child naturally actually went through all of these steps, they might feel a bit more prepared - or at least parenting would be a conscious act". The pool fence will be put in later this week and the rest is in the works, too. Baby step by baby step, one foot in front of the other.
One of our courses was called "Missing Steps: Grief and Loss in the Adoptive Child". I attended two funerals this week, so grief and loss are in the forefront of my mind. Life is so precious. What more can be said? Except we learned that the grief of an adopted child is different from grief caused by death - how? Adoption is a combination of events, not a single event such as a death, that add up to when a child is placed in the care of others. All of the questions and losses come at different times, for different reasons and impact the child over time. I am sure that our child will wonder "why didn't my mommy want me? and what happened?". We pray that we will provide a home where our child is safe to express his or her feelings, to explore the landscape of his or her losses and know that they are loved beyond measure by SOOOO many people. I trust that they will know this. Although it is challenging to consider all that lies before us, we feel so grateful to also know it as a reality now! We are on our way and believe it will happen soon. It just takes some time, patience, and money.
Our dear friends are putting together a "party" for us to kickoff our fundraising efforts and we have been working to get the word out. I will post the announcement. We invite all of our friends and their friends to join us on September 17, 5-9 to help us meet our goal. We anticipate the adoption to cost $30,000 or so when all is said and done. We have saved/raised $3,000 so far and have now spent or promised $1,900...so that leaves a little bit more to get our profile done, printed, pay an application fee or two.
We also are holding a yard sale on August 27 at another friend's house to raise money. We are so blessed to have such loving and supportive friends!!! Thank you :)
The schedule is getting full as I prepare to go back to school on Tuesday. Tomorrow I will run around to do my fingerprints, etc and get as much done as possible before the school year starts up in full force. We'll keep you posted!
With love and hope,
Tamara
Tamara & Tony,
ReplyDeleteI've finally found some time to sit down and read through your blog. It sounds as it everything is progressing really well and fast! As you know, Tuomas and myself were in the same process before we then were blessed with our biological baby, Tino, and we know exactly what you mean by saying that all parents should go through a similar process, no matter if the child is biological or adopted. It's a wonderful learning trip to yourselves and to one another.
The fundraising events all sound wonderful and we'd LOVE to attend but the distance is a bit long... ;-). We'll find a way to support you anyhow sometime soon.
Let's see now if I manage to post this comment as for some reason I have not succeeded in it as it asks for the "profile" and I'm not sure what to use.
Love you lots,
Nina
Thank you Nina! It is great to hear from you. We would love to have you attend as well, but understand that it's a bit far to come from Finland for a party :) We love you all!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and the boys,
Tamara